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With my never ending introduction to almost every post I have done.... HIIIIIIIII. In whichever tone you like btw.

Mind you, it's 6:12 in the morning now. My skin shows how sleep deprived I am for the past week... Well since this year started. But the capacity for rational inference behind my famine for sleep now is very different from the usual i-think-im-nocturnal-nights.. I am not okay. For the most part, Im sad.

I havent blogged for quite some time and it seems fair to atleast share a little bit of something something that had ooze out while this blog remained idle...
1. Im in my 3rd year of college. Same course. Same university. Im surprise too, just as you are. I am still surviving despite the absence of motivation to study and get my uninspired butt to UST. Just what I always say, I hate school but i VALUE my education.
2. Proud to say that everyone in the family finally managed to develop a congruent relationship with each other
3. and FRIENDS. As usual. CAPITAL B.Is! Just kidding. Continue to be the only constant thing in my life that never fail.

So... Why am i not happy. You ask.
I feel like my almost two-year relationship with Miko is going to waste. AGAIN? No. This has nothing to do with petty fights anymore. Or me choking in my pride. Nor him being too impulsive on words and actions. We broke up so many times, and in the longest time just to get back just to have a feud over the same shit. This is something I have feared of since then... He has become indifferent and apathetic.

The old "us" would fight in a temperament that lacks prudence. Since then, we tried to practice to cool down and manage our tempers. Id always tell him to learn how to keep still and calm down. And guess what, I got it now.

As tonight ended he says, "Youre not the boss anymore." I do not even feel bad about not being the "boss". Or not being treated like a princess. Or not being Ms. Right all the time. It's the cruel change that stings. It doesnt have to be that way. He doesnt have to act he doesnt care. I know I was so hard on him for so many reasons. - I wanted him to learn that he has to grow up before life fades out on him. I wanted him to learn that not everything is beer and skittles and he's not always on cloud 9. That there are things you have to work hard for. There are things you have to CONSISTENTLY take extra care of. That most things should be taken seriously. Last but not the least, there are so many things in this world that demands RESPECT. How I wish he had seen all these beyond the naked eye before he decided to make a shift of what he is and how he is.

I admired the Miko who'd misscall seventy nine times at night, annoyingly over and over again, even if i dont pick up cause im so mad at him. I look up to that Miko who is humble enough to apologize just so we'd be okay. I loved the Miko who cannot end the day with negativity and hatred on each other. I cherished the tears he cried whenever I try to pull the trigger to end the relationship. I miss the silly Miko who forgets his age and acts like his 3 years younger than I am that he lies about the lamest stuff for the most foolish reason (DOTA).

All I can do as i rest my tired eyes tonight(slash this afternoon) is to blame myself for not trying hard enough to be the good change he needed. You can only fix something so many times before it's broken for good.

I talk too much about him. This has got to be a living proof of how much I love the proud person that he is.

Quick update!!!!!!!!

In the wee hours of the morning I went to Karizza's because I wanted someone to talk to. Someone who doesnt need exploitation of words too extensively coming from my mouth. Someone who gets me. Someone back fom Highschool maybe. I love you P thank you! That was a good talk :-)

"Single mo mukha mo, bukas kayo ulit"

Naah not this time. & just when you think it's gonna be the same old cycle, no sir.

These are shots from last Sunday's dinner.

Appetizer at California Berry and dinner in Don Henrico's, Tomas Morato

LAST

I was editing tis picture even before things went wrong, and I really wanted the THIS TOO SHALL PASS LINE even though it has no relation. I think now there is.

I'll shut it because this is too personal to blog anyway.

Hi Miko this is the only social site of mine you can view cause I blocked you so we could skip the drama. I know you're a fan of my grammar and my blog and you'd get to read this. Be good and take care. Thank you :)

It's 4/20 and Im meeting up with the meatshops to have some fun! Wild fun! Bye!